Photo: Instagram/@rgvzoomin
Revisiting the past can be a powerful experience, especially when it's something you created that has had a lasting impact. On January 17, Ram Gopal Varma’s iconic crime-drama Satya was brought back to cinemas, 27 years after its original release in 1998. The re-release was a special event for the director, who shared a deeply personal experience about watching the film again after so many years.
Varma took to social media to reveal his emotions, admitting that he "cried out of guilt" after re-watching the movie. He also shared that at that time, he was "drunk on success," and this had affected his approach to filmmaking in ways he hadn’t fully realized before.
Before the film's re-release, Varma attended a special screening where the cast and crew gathered to reminisce about the movie nearly 25 years after its original launch. Reflecting on the experience, he explained that when the movie neared its end, he was suddenly filled with intense emotions. He mentioned how tears began to flow uncontrollably, and he didn’t care about who saw him cry. The tears weren’t just about the film itself, but about the whole journey of making it and all the years that had passed since.
He shared that when the lights came back on after the screening, he looked at the faces of his team, who seemed confused by his emotional reaction. This made him reflect on what they had all achieved together. He compared making a movie to having a child — something created with great effort, but with no idea of the full impact it would have in the future.
In his emotional confession after re-watching Satya, Varma admitted that the tears he shed were not just because of the sadness portrayed in the film. He realized that he was also crying "in joy for that version of myself," the person he was when the movie was made. He also expressed regret and guilt for not living up to the potential that Satya had set for him. He felt bad for not holding on to the standards he set with the film and for not doing more with the success it brought him.
The director was also honest about his shortcomings. He admitted that the success of Satya, along with the confidence it gave him, had clouded his vision. He confessed that he became "drunk" on his success, not realizing at the time that this arrogance was influencing his creativity. It wasn’t until recently that he understood how the success of Satya and his earlier film Rangeela had caused him to lose sight of what mattered in filmmaking. He said that after the success, he had become focused on shock value, flashy effects, and gimmicks, rather than on the heart of storytelling.
This moment of reflection was important for Varma, and he shared it openly, acknowledging the lessons learned from his journey in cinema.
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